I think the main issue is the lack of strong values : Your original painting stays in a very similar range of greys, however if you add stronger greys, perhaps even going in the blacks, it will help your character take more volume ; Also I'd suggest looking up Ambient Occlusion, basically objects closer together will cast shadows onto each other, light isn't the only source of shadows. I didn't do it on my paint over, but you could even add bounce light on the sides where there's strong shadows, her left arm/shoulder for example, just a tiny rim of light, a purple one for example, i'd fit nicely with the atmosphere of your drawing. I hope I'm clear enough, if not, don't hesitate to reach out to me on discord, I'm under the same name and in artwod's server :D | Artwod Feedback