Hey there, thanks for sharing your art! I love the expressions you pulled off here! Something I noticed when taking your image into grey scale is that a lot of your "bright" local values are very close in their value range (especially up against your chosen back ground. I think pushing your saturation further with some of the chosen colors may help some of contrast you are looking for and help things read better! I noticed this especially with the pants for example, where around areas of the smaller characters thighs, the value used there had higher contrast than say their shirt versus the face. I think if you were to add higher contrast in the face value wise and bring down the contrast in the pants, it will also help direct you audience to the focal point (like that awesome chuckle you have for them).
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