@um9s

Peindre

I think you did a really good job! I think you nailed his expression. I think there are two big things that you could change that would instantly make it have more impact though! 1)The aspect ratio! It's an easy change as well. Having a narrower frame gives a more claustraphobic feel that instantly makes something more intense. 2)Your line weight. I noticed that you used really thin lines which would have had more impact if they were thick and bold! A place that this change is really obvious is the face. I noticed that you shaded it with a darker skin tone which instead should have been done with thick hatching. I removed the shadow and redrew the black hatching lines, making them thicker over his face and it gives the same effect! Besides those two things, I think including some of the big white impact effects and the dark scatchy/hatching lines would also go a long way in improving the piece. I would continue copying how shonen artists draw those movements lines as I'm unfortunately not an expert either.