Hello! This is my take on it. The thing that I think was "wrong" in the original is the fact that the lighting wasn't necessarily directional and the structure is a bit too loose. I did my best to try and retain your original style with the a quick draw-over of changes. I'd recommend watching Ethan Becker's video on instagram painting and looking at lighting references while studying and practicing your fundamentals and structure. Have a good day! | Artwod Feedback