Hallo ! I think this is lovely <33 I am gonna start by saying that these are only suggestions and ofc you are free to choose whatever you find helpful or non at all <33 Sorry if I accidentally changed smth you did intentionally / her features. I think you did really well with the proportions but you seem to be struggling with readability. Imo it helps to keep some ideas in mind when lighting a portrait. Things can appear muddy when you don't keep in mind their value and their shape clarity. For that reason, it's helpful to maintain a consistent light source (which you did really well) and focus on getting the general shapes for the light and shadow down. I personally find working big to small is the best way to go about things like this. I like to group the shadows together and group the lit areas together. Start with two values and build as you go. By finding the termination between the shadow family and light family and then adding the details within, you allow yourself not to tunnel vision :00. We as people see the whole before the details that make it up. Details are a great tool, but are null if they sit on a shaky foundation. No amount of shading adds depth to a flat sketch <33 Squinting is pretty basic advice but I think its good to remind ourselves of if from time to time. Check your values and check your shape clarity as you go :00 Also very minor thing, the upper lip can sometimes be cast in shadow when the light hits it from above. That's because it faces a downward plane :)) I find ifs a good way to imply the form of the lips without drawing out every line
